Aren’t the Gardenias Lovely?

The fragrant gardenia bush by our deck is in full bloom right now. It’s lovely to step outside into their fragrance every time Knightley needs to step outside to take care of some business.  And that is what I need right now, something small and beautiful that can give me an abiding sense of well-being in this unjust world.

There are many reasons why I stopped practicing law. Above all, I lost the sense of conviction that the modern American justice system is equipped in any way, shape, or form to actually render justice for those in its courtrooms. I lost a core conviction that truth and right will prevail in the U.S. legal system. What you see polluting our legislative process in Washington and state capitals across the country also pollutes the courtrooms. This should come as no surprise to anyone. When special interest groups and parties who have the most money are able to write the laws, of course when those laws are applied the results are unjust. The laws were not just to begin with. In the courtrooms of America, this disparity between haves and have-nots is amplified times 100, because legal representation is always a battle of the haves versus the have-nots. You can pay for a better shot a justice in this country. And if you are a corporation (since we all know corporations have the legal rights of a person), you can pay to have the most powerful court in the country to guarantee your ability to treat any lowly human being almost any particular way. I mean, everyone knows that in the Roberts court, the corporation is always right, even if that means directly rewriting laws and tossing aside prior case precedent, as they did in 2009 in cases involving the Age Discrimination in Employment Act. (You can download the case Gross v. FBI, Financial Services, Inc. here. Read the dissent. It is scathing and right on in regard to the majority’s complete disregard for legislative intent and judicial precedent.  Read and then tell me who the real “judicial activists” are on the court.)

Even though my practice didn’t involve taking on corporations, I nonetheless got tired of going to court when people who had the most money could afford to keep litigating cases when they were clearly in the wrong or they were using the court to wage a personal vendetta against another person. The fact that I saw such behavior in court on a daily basis meant that every night it came home with me. I am shockingly incapable of letting things go when I see how unfairly and unjustly people get treated every day. For my own clients, I went to bed at night tossing and turning and obsessing about all of their problems that I knew court could not fix.  I couldn’t let it go, and I knew that I needed a change because otherwise I wouldn’t live to see my 40th birthday with the weight of so many people’s problems acutely affecting my own well-being.

It is funny because the four years that I practiced law, I can’t recall any close loved ones, either friends or family, really having serious legal issues or concerns. And in the past few months, things have turned around. No longer am I tasked with sorting out the messes of strangers, but instead, I am seeing unjustness befall my own family and friends. And now, I feel like that sucks even more because I feel completely powerless to do anything about it. It isn’t just because I don’t practice presently and am licensed in two states where my family loved ones don’t live. It’s because based on my practice, I can’t even be optimistic about things. Even if you are right and 100% supported in the law, the legal process is terrible and costly. And if you are outmatched by the resources of the other party, good luck.

I do know one thing, though. Georgia Pacific, I am done with you. A while ago I wrote a blog post about my brand loyalty and now I am formally redacting it.  I don’t give a crap about Georgia Pacific and your overpriced paper products. I care about how you treated my Dad, which happened to be worse than toilet paper. So yeah, I am no longer going out of my way to buy your stupid Brawny, Quilted Northern, Angel Soft, or whatever overpriced brand you have on the market. I am happy to use your competitors exclusively, whether it be for household paper goods or building products.  I will even buy Chinese products over you, that is how angry your actions have made me. You don’t deserve any customer loyalty because I know how you treat your employees.  Guess what, I know that in my current age group and income bracket that happen to belong to the most sought after consumer demographic group, so this is the best form of justice that I can muster. So I hope your social media monitor that responded to my blog post last time with a comment that I refused to post reads this blog entry as well. In America, after all, we effect change not in the courtroom or at the ballot box, but with our dollars. That is the only way to change anything in our consumer-based society.  If you are a friend or family member of mine who reads this blog and who knows how kind and good my dad is, I am asking you today to not use any Georgia Pacific products. Here is their list of brands. To be perfectly honest, not using Georgia Pacific brands will make my life a whole lot easier. After all, Bounty and Charmin are the brands that are always on sale at Costco.

More Gardens More Ticks

This weekend we were privileged with the company of Matt and Erin, visiting from DC. The weather was lovely, and so in addition to stuffing our selves with Allen & Son barbecue on Saturday, we enjoyed some shady walking at the North Carolina Botanical Garden. There, we contemplated different varieties of magnolia and giant chess boards.  I still am of the opinion that I can’t look at any attempt at a life-sized chess board without thinking of Harry Potter’s wizards’ chess.

But, we didn’t have time for such games.

Instead, we went to Nana’s for dinner that night, where I realized not only was I feasting, but an obnoxious tick, who obviously dropped on me in the garden, had decided to feast on my neck. While that might cause others to lose their appetite, the tasting menu at Nana’s was too delicious for me to allow for that to happen.

Seriously, North Carolina, I love you, but your ticks are out of control this year. I can’t be outside for more than ten minutes without feeling like I am hosting legions of these parasites. It makes me wish that I was enjoying the gardens of the Chelsea Flower Show in London right now, away from this tick-infested wilderness that we call America.

An Even Better Use for a Hat

Doesn’t Knightley look so dapper?

He is a most gentlemanly dog.

David hates this photo that I am about to post, but sometimes you just have to embrace the ridiculous about things. So, yes David, I know that Knightley always gets mistaken for a girl dog, but I am going to post this picture of him virtually trying on this very pink Philip Treacy hat anyway.  Girls hats are just so much for fun than boys hats.  And Knightley doesn’t mind being silly sometimes.

When lately it seems like the hard days outnumber the easy ones, it is good to make myself laugh. Knightley is the perfect prescription for that, always.

A Hat Changed Everything

So, I have this iPad. Yes, I thought the day would never come that I would possess an Apple product, but I was wrong. Mostly I shrug my shoulders about all of the things that people supposedly love about the iPad, because big freaking deal. Today, all of that changed as I discovered the LoveHats.com app.  Seriously, I not only can browse some of the most beautiful hats in the world, but thanks to the wonder of technology, I can try them all on electronically and imagine all of the wonderful pretend events to which I would wear the hats.  It really is a life changing kind of app.

Pretend event one: A springtime outdoor picnic celebrating the North Carolina basketball team. I would wear this $890 Gina Foster hat.

 

Pretend Event 2: Being cast as Mrs. White in a remake of the classic film Clue. Gina Foster Millennium hat $586

Pretend Event 3: If I was invited to the Royal Enclosure at Ascot. Gina Foster Krupp hat $773 (Except my memory seems to recall that it is possible that Sophie, Countess of Wessex may have worn this hat already, so I might have to rethink this selection.)

Pretend Event 4: Attending some event at which Victoria is Beckham is being mocked, since she wore a similarly shaped hat to the royal wedding last year. Philip Treacy London Gondola Hat $3,044 (Except that is a lot of cash to drop on a hat that I don’t even like that much just to mock someone).

Pretend Event 5: If my sister Sarah ever gets married, I promise I will rock this hot pink flying saucer hat. Philip Treacy London Papal Pointed Disc $1,428.

Pretend Event 6:  Actually, I don’t need an imaginary event for the following hat. I would wear this to church on Sunday. The python-like appearance of the pillbox would make me look so tough to all of those teenaged girls in Young Women. Gabriela Ligenza Faberge Pillbox $1,124

Pretend Event 7 - This would be a great hat to wear to the garden party that David and I will be hosting when our garden vision is finally brought to fruition sometime in 2015 or beyond.  Gina Foster Allnatt $578

 

Pretend Event 8: I would wear this hat to honor the Queen at some event celebrating the Diamond Jubilee year. Jill Courtemarche Millinery Francine Hat $461

 

Pretend Event 9:  I would wear this hat to a summertime Daughters of the American Revolution luncheon. Gabriela Ligenza Onion Rose Bibi $1,015

Pretend Event 10: Finally, I would wear this hat to an awesome person’s funeral, because I don’t know any way better to honor someone you really love than to show them that they are worthy enough for you to wear an awesome hat on the day you celebrate their memory. Beth Morgan Jitterbug hat $305

Perfect Monday Boost – Puppies and Princes!

“Whatch’ya doing?”

I don’t know, just looking at pictures of polo-playing princes posing with a puppy.

Seriously, I already know that a black cocker spaniel puppy can be depended on to boost my spirits on any given day, but these pictures are just new levels of adorableness. Catherine chose well. That is a great puppy.  Knightley too is pleased that he has an English royal cousin, although, he is jealous of the attention that Lupo gets. Knightley would love to have that many people petting him too.

What I Want to Wear to Work Tomorrow

A little bit of Ted Baker will help me feel more rosy-cheeked, right? This week sucks, so I turn to consumer products to feel better.

Dear 61% of North Carolina and Those Outside of our State who are Mocking Us Today,

I was avoiding writing any sort of post regarding yesterday’s elections in North Carolina. But I have thoughts, so I just thought I would write them down here so as to not annoy others and force them to listen to them. First, the good news…Walter Dalton was nominated to be the Democratic candidate for governor. That’s great news. He is the candidate that I supported and will continue to support going forward. He cares about education and jobs and those two things are the most important issues for me on a state level. I think he stands a good chance of beating Pat McCroy in the fall, and as someone who cares firmly about public education, we need to prevent at all costs a Republican legislature and governor’s office.

So now for the bad news. The stupid Amendment 1 passed.  There are many problems that I have with Amendment 1. They range from the fact that I find it completely disheartening that a constitution can be amended with a simple majority vote to restrict rights for a class of people. That should be troubling for all people. This country shouldn’t be about “the tyranny of the majority” and we shouldn’t be able to restrict the rights of ANY minority group by a simple vote of the majority. As a member of a religious minority, I am particularly troubled by the role that people’s views of God played in Amendment 1.  The U.S. Constitution claims to preserve for each American the ability to freely exercise their religion, but the moment we begin legislating based on narrow view of what supposedly “God” thinks, then we start to limit our religious freedom. Instead, we open the door to a pissing match of “My version of God is more right than yours, and therefore mine should be who determines how you live.” That troubles me tremendously.  This leads into my greater concern, and larger point, if marriage was simply a domain of churches, then it would maybe matter what your church’s own doctrinal view is.  But it isn’t. We afford civil rights and privileges to those able to enter a civilly licensed and approved marriage, and that is what this is about.

The problem with voting on these things, like what happened in North Carolina yesterday, is that no one comes to understand the other side better of reach out and try to find a middle ground. Instead, names get thrown at the other side, and everyone just digs in their heels and draws more sweeping conclusions about those who sit in opposition.  Sadly, so much of our political discourse has turned into this in America. It is getting worse, not better, in my opinion. And that scares me.  So in this day after the election, I hear people from outside North Carolina who don’t know anything about us calling us inbred, bigoted rednecks.  That doesn’t do anything to open a civil discourse.  I wish people on both sides would acknowledge where people on the other side of the debate are coming from. For those that voted for the amendment, some of them probably are bigoted rednecks, but there are also probably many others who didn’t understand what the amendment would do. Some people interviewed in favor of the amendment said that they supported civil unions, but not gay marriage, even though the Amendment in effect restricts the possibility of either. Some people fear that legalizing gay marriage will affect their ability to freely exercise their own religion.  Instead of calling them names or casting aspersions on their religious beliefs which are also protected by the Constitution, wouldn’t it be nicer to come together and try to work things out taking into account the concerns of the other?  I mean, didn’t they just do this exercise in the federal government where they wrote into law certain accommodations would be made for religious employers for certain portions of the health care law that could be read to violate religious beliefs of religious employers?  Couldn’t we ensure the same could be done for people’s religious beliefs while still ensuring that the civil rights of millions of Americans are also protected?  While there is still some good will among us, why is no one making any efforts to bring people together on this? At the end of the day, both sides (taking the crazy, bigoted people out of it) are arguing over essentially the same thing – the right to ensure their civil rights are protected – the rights of free worship and the rights of free association, privacy, etc.  I also wish people would realize that tyranny by the majority is never a model for good governance. You won’t always be in the majority all the time, of course.

Look, I naively thought that the Amendment wouldn’t pass in North Carolina. It certainly didn’t in the part of the state where I lived. My daily associates certainly did not vote in favor of it. But if you look at the state as a whole, even though it passed in most other non-urban counties, in , there were still people who voted against it. Not enough, for sure, but the fact is there isn’t a monolithic opinion even in rural North Carolina. I know that some people voted a particular way too because they felt compelled to by their churches. I am Mormon. I know in the past, in California, some church leaders encouraged involvement in passing an amendment to ban gay marriage. They didn’t this time around. In fact, we were read a letter at church that told us to study the issues and vote with our own consciences. There was no direction about which way to vote. There was no encouragement to campaign for or otherwise support the amendment. So yes, progress is possible. But it just takes a little kindness and thought, in my opinion.