Please America, learn some wedding etiquette. I plead with you. And if you are a bride who has poor wedding etiquette, please don’t abuse my friends. Because I will mock you on my blog. Granted, that might not seem like much of a threat since probably 4 people in America read my blog, but it is the worst that I can do.
So please don’t do any of the following:
1. Give your guest an itinerary of errands to run related to your wedding when the guest had no prior notice that you were going to be demanding such tasks and the guest showed up actually just to attend your wedding.
2. Ask a scientist to arrange your flowers for you and demand that the task be performed to some exacting standard.
3. Ask someone to give a speech at your reception who isn’t really too thrilled about the marriage to begin with.
4. Be a jerk and assume that every person exists to cater to your whims on your wedding day. Unless, that is, you want to make sure your wedding is painfully remembered by all, not as a day of happiness, but the last day that you ever had particular friends.
5. Tell someone that you are getting married in Washington DC, but in reality are having your wedding reception in northern Maryland, on the border of Pennsylvania. The DC metropolitan area does not extend that far.
There was a wedding held recently, NOT in the DC metropolitan area, where the bride committed all of these faux pas. She’s lucky she doesn’t know me. I might have had to refer her to Emily Post; and then I would unleash a tirade of my own, not-so-polite, language.