I made this!

It is no secret that 2012 was not my ideal kind of year.  In fact, it was the worst. So, I have been trying to start 2013 on an entirely more positive note.  This weekend, my sister Melissa and her family will be moving to Virginia Beach, which is less than four hours away from us and eminently better than Texas. That was our first positive start to 2013.  I have also been trying to set some new precedents for having a better year. I don’t call them resolutions.  I don’t like resolutions, because they always fail.

One idea that I have been kicking about for quite sometime is the idea of learning some basic sewing skills.  I have significantly altered my shopping habits in a way to try to avoid purchasing poorly made clothing from China, etc. However, I have liked the idea of being a more responsible consumer by at least trying to understand better what goes into making the things that we buy.  So, David got me a sewing machine for Christmas and earlier this week, I took my first sewing class where I made this pillow for Knightley by sewing together some fabric strips:

I made this

It is nothing fancy or beautiful.  However, the last pillow I made was in my home economics class from eighth grade.  It was a pillow shaped like a fountain ice cream drink. It was the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my life. Seriously. So ugly. So, by that measure, this was a remarkable improvement, because I actually managed to sew in straight lines!  In the next class I will make a tote bag, and we will see if I can do more than sew in a straight line. I really like the class that I found at a little sewing studio in downtown Durham. The teacher didn’t make me feel like an idiot at all when I said I didn’t know how to sew a hem in a pair of paints.

So there is that, and the fact that I am trying to do a better job about eating healthier. I don’t set specific weight loss goals, but I am just generally trying to be better. I know I can’t change the status of my ovaries by eating well, but I can feel better about my body and not focus so much on all its failings if I just feel better about myself. So to that end, I bought a juicer and try to substitute one meal a day with a healthy juice variety. I love the juicer I bought, and it turns out vegetables aren’t so bad when liquified with berries and watermelon. We also have been doing Hello Fresh meal delivery service for dinner, which has made our weeknight dinners healthier and more regular. Since both David and I work, it is exhausting for both of us to think of what to have for dinner during the week. Hello Fresh makes it so easy for me to prepare good dinners on weeknights, and I actually enjoy cooking again.  I still can do a fancier dinner on Sunday when I have more energy for it.

So yes, these are small, incremental changes that have helped me feel better starting out this year. I know that dealing with my infertility is still a daily mental and emotional struggle for me, but I like to have the feeling of productivity in other aspects of my life.  So much about our ability to have children really is out of our hands at this point in time while we wait on things.  It helps to feel like I can pass the time doing more than just waiting.

This will be a better year.

And right now, there is always my happy place of the Dean Dome. Nothing like a Carolina game to make me feel better.

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