Happy Spring Anxiety

I haven’t been blogging lately, because I have been trying to head off this anxiety that I had been feeling approaching my frozen embryo transfer, and that has only intensified since last Thursday. I don’t know, but I think that the hormones are affecting me way worse this time. I thought I was in complete control and ready for the cycle, but it really just hit me that this might be the last time that I have the chance to be pregnant. I might have to be readying myself to deal with final failure, and I am more afraid of that than I thought I would be.

Also, I am freaking myself out because I feel like I am pregnant, but I am terrified to find out that I am wrong. If I could force my brain to turn off so I could stop constantly symptom checking, that would be tremendously helpful, because I fear I am setting myself to feel very sad if I go in for my pregnancy test on Saturday and find out that in actuality, I am not pregnant, and my brain was just playing tricks on me.

So that is the present. Thankfully, my family was in town last weekend which helped take my mind off of things somewhat. We had a lovely Easter weekend. On Friday, after my transfer, Melissa and I went down to Pinehurst, as I had arranged a spa day for her for her birthday. It was also just nice to have an excuse to relax the day after the transfer.

Saturday was rainier than I hoped, and unfortunately, my parents had to leave to get back to Mississippi early Sunday morning so they couldn’t stay for Easter dinner. I am always so happy to see them. Not only is it nice just to spend time with them and support one another, but my house is always cleaner and in better working order after they visit. This time, my dad fixed our guest bathroom shower, put up new outdoor lights, and installed new blinds for our Master Bedroom. Seriously, I am so lucky to have them in my life.

Of course, Phoebe and Harry were the stars of the weekend. Here are some pictures I took, beginning with our Easter Sunday finery:

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Easter afternoon so we did some playing and relaxing in the backyard after church:

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Easter dinner:

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Thankfully, Dr. Harrison was on duty this weekend to diagnose and treat my symptoms. He confirmed I had “owwatosis”.

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Finally, this guy has been loving the spring weather for sure:

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